Rise against, or get sucked under.

On days like this, the challenge to not fall prey to comfort foods is beyond hard. Part of my wants to dive face first into a pool of chocolate and drown my sorrows, and the other part of me is gritting my teeth and digging in my heels.
Days like today, where emotions run high and support runs low; I look for some one, some THING to be able to pull me through. I have been the rock & emotional support for so long (for so many people) that at the end of the day, I sit back and put my feet up and look around to no one there.
I sat down and ate dinner alone. Offering to cook or order something healthy for food, and got told he wasn't hungry. After an emotional day, I have three options.
1) Cook for myself when I already feel like crap.
2) Don't eat at all.
3) Substitute dinner for that big, comforting swirl of deep rich chocolate ice cream.

So I nuke some ziti with baked eggplant and mozzarella cheese grates. And ate it. Alone.

The hardest thing on any journey is going it alone, going it without a net, or going blindly. Most women that have my "problem" have experienced that drowning feeling of loneliness, no matter if they have a significant other or not. The seclusion that you feel from the other edges of the world are intense. Sometimes it's unfounded, but for the most part it comes from a history of feeling let down by humanity. Other times, it's very real.

So how was my food today, you ask?
Ridiculously good. I have been fiending for chocolate all day long. Seriously. I would gnaw on anyone's eyebrow if they told me that it tasted like chocolate.
Rhetorical question here: what in the world makes women fiend chocolate enough that (bar moral objections, if you have them... weirdos) murder is a viable option, if said victim had a nib of chocolate in their possession?

Work forked out lunch for us again, except this time it was... drum roll please?
Pizza.
No! I KID I KID!
It was actually subs & wraps from a local deli.
Wraps were chicken salad with lettuce & tomato.
Subs were 3 inch portions of turkey or this disgusting roast beast. I mean beef.

I stored my subway sandwich for tomorrow.

So what am i going to do to sate my loneliness and honest feeling of defeat from today?
I allowed myself 15 minutes to wallow. Now i'm going to get off my ass and sate my chocolate craving, by getting some frozen yogurt. Honestly, i think it's better than ice cream any day. Richer, thicker and more intensely flavoured. Hopefully they have my favourite one there.

So my advice to those of you reading?

Listen, not everyone is going to like you all the time.
Clients, customers, co workers, lovers, friends, family, children, pets, insects and deities alike.
Go to work tomorrow. Make a list of the things you are looking forward to doing when you get home. Look at pictures of your loved ones. Bring LOLCat pictures to work, or thinspirations (your inspiration for fitness, NOT the disgusting thinspirations of the bulemics and anorexics...healthy thinspo's, guys c'mon).

At the end of the day, take a deep breath. Look around your office, or cubicle or whatever you're stuck in for 8-12 hours of your day, and smile. Knowing that you are going home, to erase whatever happened that day. Remember what you're working towards, and know that you are better than whatever they keep throwing at you.

So for now, I bid you adieu. Tomorrow, i will post a great recipe for something sweet to help you Plush and fabu ladies (and gents) pull through those rough days.

Oh.
And just let it go, mmk?